Wealthy Living Christian Marriage Article Based Upon:  Ephesians  5:22-30

It can be easy for Christian women who have little confidence to get confused about their roles as wives when they're taught verses 22 - 24 from Ephesians 5 out of context.  

The command for women to submit to their husbands in every thing can lay heavy upon their hearts and souls if not used in conjuction with verses 25 - 30. 

How many women have suffered at the harsh and brutal hand of their Christian husbands who have selfishly used that verse to Lord it over them, claiming to have God's permission to do so?

And how many Christian men have made their wives feel as if their thoughts, words and actions were worthless because they believed that God had made women inferior to them?  

Just because we've entered an age of greater information through the Internet, books, and talk shows, doesn't mean that abuse is easily erased.  We're told that it's wrong, but the solutions are rarely practical to the woman in fear of her life and her children's.

For the Christian woman, there is little hope when she has been taught by precept and example that she should obey her husband at all costs in order to be pleasing to God.  However, in order to get the true meaning or the complete message of Ephesians  5:22 we need to read further rather than taking that verse out of context.  

Ephesians 5:22  has been used by Christian men with a controlling nature to turn away from their responsibility before God to treat their wives with respect and honor through Jesus Christ.  Instead they have acted upon their selfish natures with disastrous results in order to create a subservient wife. 

If I sound as if I'm against men, that's not my intention, and it's far from the truth.   Men are wonderful!  They have great insights, a deep capacity to love and amazing creative abilities.  They work hard for their families, and still make time to offer their playful side to their children -- a gift that most women neither possess nor understand.  

We women need men!  And not just to fix things -- not to say that some women aren't good at do-it-yourself projects. But that's not my point. 

God created men and women to bond together in marriage, family, work, and friend relationships to abound in a greater explosion of ability, insight, and creativity by putting our differences together.  

However, that doesn't always happen because we weren't taught to trust God in His magnificent genius of the creation of both sexes. Instead some men fight to take control to show women that they're smarter and more capable of doing most things better than women, while women are in the same battle trying to prove them wrong. 

Unfortunately, this can result in some very serious backlashes within marriages, including Christian.  And even if abuse isn't a factor, a marriage is still kept off balance with bitterness and unexpressed anger that can explode in various detrimental circumstances.  At the least, both husband and wife will more than likely live separate lives rather than being each others friend and lover.

Women get abused, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and sometimes, men do too.  However, in the case of men, it's usually emotional abuse and estrangement from the wife.  Men need to be loved, so women withdraw and leave their husbands emotionally starved and battered. This is another form of abuse that should not exist in a Christian marriage.

Men and women get confused from their upbringing and from the selfishness they've picked up from their formative relationships. Therefore, they have no idea what a wealthy living marriage based upon Biblical scripture is all about.

This is where Christ comes into the picture, to save the soul from error and a lack of conscience for certain wrong behaviors that the world may find acceptable.     

Leaning upon Christ for healing is a must, especially when children are involved!  They are the real victims and they take the abuse they live with as children into their adult lives. 

Make no mistake, as Christians we not only have the right to step out of all forms of abuse, but we have the power and ability to do so through Jesus Christ! 

Through Him, and not by our own ability, can we all make a complete 180 degree turn around in our behaviors.  And as we live the message of  God's role for a man and a woman in marriage, our lives will become strengthened and renewed.

As we look at the scriptures following Ephesians 5:22 up to verse 30, we see that marriage is not a trap for women to be subservient or abused at the will of their husbands, nor are men to suffer estrangement from their wives.  Instead, it's a means of power for both the husband and the wife to glorify God through their united love. 

This leads us to Kingdom living as described in Matthew 6:33.  This is a lifestyle of trusting God by centering upon Him and His Kingdom first, and as we do, all things will fall into place.  We will become free to see our spouses through God's eyes instead of our own.  

Doing this can't help but prosper our marriages whether we have problems or not.  And it will give us strength, patience, and ability to see new truths about marriage so that we can develop ourselves enough to allow God to guide and help us.

So let’s go back to Ephesians 5:22-30. Please read each verse before you continue.  Use your personal Bible or use the online Bible. 

Verse 23 says that the husband is head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church.  If Christ is the head of the church, then he is head of the man or husband. 

Here is and important question to ponder. How does Christ love (or treat) the church?  Is he kind, loving and forgiving?  Or does He rage with vengeance when we mess up and continually remind us about our past sins?

No, people do that, not Christ.  From His own words, he tells us to love one another.  In fact, He tells us to forgive all against everyone.  He gives us a pattern to follow from His own life as He went about healing the sick, fixing the broken hearted, and forgiving all, never remembering their sins again.   

Christ has given us grace that should set us free to trust God always and in all things -- including marriage.      

We should trust Him for a blessed marriage by understanding His Words.  Continuing in Ephesians to 5:28, men are told to love their wives as their own bodies.  Man is to love his wife as himself.  

This is were women have power!  If a man doesn't love himself as God does, he can't love his wife in the way God intended.  So a wife must help her husband to love himself in the image of Christ -- the way He loves the church.  

This is the God kind of love found in II Corinthians 13:8.  A man must learn how to regard himself through Jesus Christ.  He must realize that He is filled with power to do all things, and to receive God's guidance for all important decisions.  This way he will always make fair decisions for both himself and his spouse.  He most probably will realize that it is wise to have his wife choose what to do in areas where she is most equipped.  

This trust in God will allow for husbands to have such great wisdom that their wives will never feel "left out" or powerless -- therefore eliminating the need for going to battle against their spouses.   

Wives will have more time to think about other pursuits that are more important to them rather than fighting to have power over a decision, just for the sake of being in control.  

The joy of contentment will override the desire for control, and a balance will take hold of the marriage. This is where Christ is able to give greater power and ability as both husband and wife cease to struggle with one another and begin to surrender their lives and marriage to Him.  

In conclusion, abuse is never an option for any marriage, but especially a Christian marriage because there is always a way to change the situation. 

As we learn to trust God by creating a marriage based upon Ephesians 5:22-30, competition, bitterness, and anger will be pushed aside for love, respect, honor, and gratitude for a marriage literally made in heaven. 

So always keep in mind and heart that developing a wealthy living marriage can only begin with God's word.  As you learn to live by it, it will lead you to healing, renewal, and guidance through Jesus Christ.

However, if you are experiencing physical abuse in your marriage, you must immediately take steps to leave your home for safety, especially if you have children.  God will help you!

COMING SOON ON AUDIO!  A Continuation of Wealthy Living Marriage:  How to safely leave a dangerous abusive marital relationship.