Wealthy Living Online Dating Series

You can have a fantastic experience and meet your perfect match but you don’t want to be a statistic because you believed everything the other person said on the Internet.

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 2:  Rely Upon Your Inner Instincts and Guidance

Christians have benefit of an inner guidance system by which they can gauge what is safe and what is not.  What is best for their life and what will be harmful.  Who to trust and who not to trust, etc.  No matter what safety precautions you take, online dating and dating in general is always a risk if you have no knowledge of the person and their associations. 

Therefore it is wise and prudent to take all the safety precautions possible and then rely upon your personal judgment coupled with God's guidance about each person you arrange to meet.  This is especially important for women, but it goes for men as well.

I have known people who have met and married their spouse through online dating.  My daughter met her husband online and has had a successful marriage with two young sons and a new baby.  Their lives are wonderful together.  However, I have a relative that met his wife through online dating.  She appeared nice at first, but she eventually turned into one of the most frightening women I've ever known.  A few years after these two married each other, she killed herself. 

There are other stories, but I'm sure you get the picture.  Dating by any means can go either way.   What you want is to do your best not to expose yourself, family, and friends to anyone that will turn your lives upside down.  God will help you do this.

How is this done?

It's simple really.  When we wonder what to do about anything, we should listen to our hearts.  Within the inward part of our abdomen, we will either get a smooth feeling of trust or a rough, jagged feeling that things are not right.  As we learn to follow this simple guidance strategy, we will get better at knowing what to do, and we will be able to protect ourselves from harm with a strong intuition about danger.

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 3:  Look At The Signs

So if you are determined to go forth with online dating, do it with great expectation, wisdom, and caution.  The disastrous marriage I mentioned above that began with an online dating service, was not so much the result of the way the husband and wife met but because the man brushed off the signs of his wife's difficult behavior for selfish reasons before their marriage.  Also, she was not honest about the fact that she was bipolar and had decided not to take her medicine.  She was taking a dangerous diet drug at the time and didn't want to mix the two medications.     

On his regular visits to our home before his marriage, he would tell us alarming stories about her.  One of the worst was a time where she had lost control of her emotions when the seams split open on a dress she had purchased from Neiman Marcus.  Keep in mind that she purchased the dress a couple sizes too small.  That didn't stop her from ripping to shreds the sales girls in the store for selling her a dress that wasn't made properly. 

When she didn't resolve the issue to her satisfaction, she spend days trying to speak with the owner of the store.  She was finally able to reach his son and told him that the dress was needed for a special event with her new boyfriend and that she expected a new one in the same size.   

She immediately received a new dress for free, completely tailored to her body shape.  However, she  got mad at her boyfriend because of all she had gone through.  She told him to go to the event alone and not see her until she called him, whenever that would be.  He waited a couple of months.  This was a "red flag" things were not going right.  But he was ready for her like a little puppy when she finally called him.  

The horrifying stories continued through the months.  He would ask our advice, but refused to listen when we cautioned him to look at the signs that perhaps they were not compatible. Later  we found out that he wanted to marry her because she was about to inherit a large sum of money.  Now he lives with the thought that he may have caused his wife's death.  She left a suicide note blaming him because he had taken most of her money and property through legal battles he had dragged her through.  

So the question is, who was the person not to trust here?  This story goes both ways for protecting yourself and for not using a dating service or dating in general to enhance your financial situation or to use a person for any reason.  The husband was not a man, but a greedy person, willing to take advantage of someone who was ill.  He later took in another women from a foreign country  to live with who was expecting to receive a large inheritance.  I heard that he married her not long after she received it, but I wasn't there to congratulate him.  I have no respect for him or his new life.  The people we date and later marry deserve to be loved and cared about for who they are!   

MY MOST IMPORTANT WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP:

We need to treat people the way we want to be treated.  The person you choose to date is someone's child, sister, brother, parent, etc.  When we hurt people, we hurt a whole group of people.  And while you may say that my relative ended up with what he wanted, that's not true.  He lost family members who no longer respected him, and when he married, he didn't even tell his own mother.  She found out by accident.  He is actually ashamed of his wife, and doesn't want people to know about her.  She deserves better, but somehow she felt it was to her advantage to marry an American.  I guess just any American would do.   

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 4:  Have The Right Attitude

Before you begin using a dating service, check your motives.  If you're looking for more than love, wait until you have the right direction and attitude.  And if you are desperate for love, wait until you find peace with yourself.  Don't look for someone to help you feel better about yourself, find someone who can enjoy your company as you enjoy theirs.  If you're too needy, you may sacrifice values and fail to respect yourself, rather than waiting for someone who will treat you the way you deserve.  

Also, be aware of the motives of the person or persons who you date.  Ask questions in a friendly manner that are not accusatory. Then, don't be afraid to rule out people who obviously lied on their profile.  And don't lie on yours.  You'll just cause the process to be a huge waste of time.          

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 5:  Enjoy Your Dating Experience

It's only natural to be nervous when meeting someone for the first time, but realize that the other person usually feel the same way too.  A way I have found to help get rid of anxiety about meeting new people in new situations is to think about their feelings first.  Doing this will help you forget about your own feelings.  As you ask questions to ease the other person's feelings, you will open the door for conversation (once you actually go on a date).  

I suggest you have some dialogue ready that is appropriate for the person you'll be dating.  Take whatever information you have about them, like a sport or interest and learn enough about it to share a conversation.    

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 6:  Don't Be Aggressive

Don't move too fast and push the other person to be what you want.  The idea is to find someone who matches your interests and beliefs.  You should not try to use a dating service to find someone to mold into the person you want.  If you do this, you will gain a bad reputation and may be thrown out of the service. 

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 7:  If You Are Married

Well obviously if you are married, you should not be in a dating service plain and simple.  You will be keeping a huge secret that will eventually have to be told if you meet someone.  Again, be honest with yourself, the dating service, and your prospective dates. 

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 8:  If You Are A Single Parent 

If you are a parent, then your first priority should be your child or children.  If you must date or belong to a dating service, never bring your date home or even let them know where you live until you feel they are not a risk to your family. 

Never push your children to accept anyone.  Continue to love them and give them much affection, and when the right person happens in your life, everyone will get along if all are introduced slowly. Go by your inner guidance for the proper timing.

WEALTHY LIVING ONLINE DATING TIP No. 9:  Live For The Moment

When you go out on a date, don't look too far into the future even if you are looking for a husband or wife.  Enjoy the moment for what it is and don't start imagining the person you're with as a partner in life.  If you do, you won't honestly get to know the person.  Don't go by looks or even an instant chemistry.  Give any relationship time and over time talk about everything that is important to you.  Listen to what is important to the other person.  This way, you can be friends first.  This is also the way for Christian men and women to develop a relationship through Jesus Christ.      

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Had online dating (and computers) been available when I was dating I don't know if I would have used such a service.  I'm still ambivalent about it.  But with the power it holds in modern times to help people find someone matched to their interests and beliefs, I'm sure it is here to stay.  I hope this wealthy living online dating article has been helpful in your quest to find the most suitable dates for your personality.